Yes, duh, of course it feels good to feel good.
But DO you feel good? Many of us downplay our feelings and prioritise logic. We live in that sort of world. Feeling good can seem like a distant prize to be enjoyed when the kids have moved out, or when we’re slimmer, can travel, get married, are richer or live in the right house. Day to day life is something we just do until that magical moment, later, when we give ourselves the permission to blossom.
But feeling good is something to cultivate and prioritise now. When we feel right, stuff happens. It is like we are vibrating at a different frequency and the situations, the right people and opportunities appear without much effort. Serendipity or chance encounters might be some of the words you use.
Tuning in to your frequency
You may know that your brain’s electrical impulses (brain waves) operate within various frequencies, like Alpha, Beta, Delta and Theta. Each has its own unique frequency and depending on which you are in, you’re able to access creativity, rejuvenation, productivity and relaxation to name but a few. For example, it is much easier to get into a relaxing hypnotic trance when you are in a Theta state, compared to a Beta state, when you are actively focused on the outside world.
Feeling good or feeling bad is a bit like brain frequency. When things feel just right, you have managed to tune in to your perfect radio station. You have clarity, bravery, confidence and power of attraction at your fingertips. You might feel lucky. You might feel you are in the flow and you expect the best. All of us have had moments like these and it feels fantastic. But rarely does it last.
We anticipate less
Instead, we are soon back to thoughts about what’s missing, what’s not working and, amazingly, we have a whole host of reasons to justify feeling less than good. Some of the things we say to ourselves are:
- It’s too good to be true.
- It’ll never last.
- I can’t have the good without having some bad.
- Happiness comes at a high price.
- It couldn’t happen to me.
- I’ll never be as good as…..
- I always make mistakes.
Over the years, you may have collected enough data to prove that you are right to believe all this and more. Due to evolution, your brain has a strong negativity bias as it wants to keep you safe and this means it will filter out anything that is new, risky, hopeful and different, in other words, unfamiliar. Your brain does not care if this is right or wrong, all it cares about is supporting you by presenting you with information that confirms what you already know whilst filtering out any evidence to the contrary.
Notice when things are good
I always ask my clients to spend time on finding out what makes them feel good. What do they look forward to? What inspires and excites them? What brings relief and light-heartedness? This is valuable information. In the absence of their problems and predicament, what would good look like? Then I ask them to notice how it feels when they imagine their happy selves without the obstacles and the problems. If they feel good, then I suggest they may want to spend more time thinking thoughts that make them feel like that. This is how we can raise our frequency from problem to solution.
Here’s an experiment: Try and think of something that makes you feel good today. It can be small, like looking forward to a takeaway coffee from your favourite cafe, or something bigger such as feeling excited to see your partner in the evening. Notice how it feels in your body when you think about what you look forward to. Is it different from how you feel/think normally? We often operate from within a low-level stress/anxiety/depressive mode without being conscious of it. Monitor your feelings for the day and pay attention to when there is a dip and you start to feel low, powerless, insecure or flat. Do the exercise again and find a better thought that can produce a better feeling. Again, notice the bodily sensation this simple shift can offer.
Although what we say and think are very important, and they really are, it is the feeling that we imbue our words and thoughts with that takes us high or low. It doesn’t really matter what it is we’re thinking or doing as much as what that thinking and doing make us feel like. A happy memory, a spontaneous compliment from a stranger or a loving message from our partner, can upshift our vibrations in seconds. But it goes the other way too.
Feeling better can take seconds
So keep a close eye on where your thoughts go. How you want to feel is your roadmap. Do and think of the things that lift you up. That is the gist of it. Figuring things out, working on problems and digging deep all have value. But a simpler way is to find the relief that comes with a better feeling as it can take seconds and not years. If you are happy most of the time, you are probably already aware of the fact that the better you feel, the better you feel. Right?
But if you are feeling low, scared, insecure and powerless you are probably also aware that the worse you feel, the worse you feel. So something needs to shift for something to change. It can mean that you think about one thing in your day ahead that spark something extra in you. This leads to the thought that perhaps having a shower and putting on some makeup could be a good idea. It’s a small step but it leads to better quality feeling thoughts. Notice your moments of feeling better. Feeling better automatically inspire better thoughts, which leads to better feelings, that then spark new thoughts and so it goes on. The saying your vibe attracts your tribe is more true than you realise.
Does this resonate? What is your experience? Get in contact if you want to find out more. I offer a free phone consultation for you to tell me about what is happening in your life and how working with me might be helpful.