We are creatures of habit, all of us. So keen are we to stick with the familiar that we behave, think and believe pretty much the same every day.
On our weekly to-do list, there may be many different elements and moving parts yet the outcome is often the same. We remain stuck in a particular mindset and we find it hard to shift. This is of course not so much of a problem if what we think and believe make us feel uplifted, supported and fulfilled. But most of us don’t. We long for something different altogether – to feel successful, to belong, to feel confident, feel energised, to experience calm, to feel loved, have more fun and to be seen.
The trouble is, we may know how we would rather feel, but we don’t know how to go about actually feeling it. How do you go from here to there? That is the million-dollar question.
How do I go from here to there?
What would you have wanted to do more of?
Thinking about it from another angle – what would you have wanted to do more of if you were an older version of yourself, looking back over your life? If you had been a bit braver, more confident, asked for what you wanted, been more vulnerable, listened more, taken more risks, felt more worthy and so on. What would have been possible?
We live under the misapprehension that life goes on forever and that we have unlimited time to develop our potential. Cognitively, of course, we know that life is finite but we keep on forgetting. We keep putting things off.
Do you plod along, hoping for change?
Here are some questions for you. Can you honestly say that you do enough of what lights you up? Do you surround yourself with your favourite people often enough? Or do you plod along – hoping and wishing things will someday change?
If you knew that you had one year to try something, anything and that you could not fail. What would you do?
Exercise
Put on some lovely music and make sure you will not be disturbed for a little while. Make a cup of tea and then ask yourself the following:
- What are three things I would do if I knew there were no risks involved?
- Why do I want those things – what am I hoping to feel?
- How would my life be different if I felt more like that, more often?
- What would a day in my life look like if I had reached my true potential?
The key here is that things we think we want, like financial security, everlasting love, a stunning beach house, a wardrobe to die for or whatever else you may dream of, are often not the outcome of these internal questions.
Really, you ask? Really. Hear me out.
Hack your way to what you want.
What if financial security is really about feeling free?
Or everlasting love, a way to feel safe and connected?
Or having a beach house, a way to be relaxed and healthy?
Or a gorgeous wardrobe, a way of you feeling confident and self-assured?
When we realise that things like freedom, confidence, safety and connection with others are really the end goals of what we desire, then we can start to hack our way to those experiences TODAY. Right now – without having to achieve those huge goals.
Be clear about what you want.
Knowing what we want and what fuels us is absolutely key.
When you type in a postcode into the satnav, you relax as you know you will be guided to where you need to go. You don’t really question it as you trust that your satnav will get you there. Right? And the same goes for your own desires and longings.
Knowing what makes you feel good and happy 100% fuels your brain who tries to find it for you. You start to look for situations and people that resonate with your goal. Doors open, opportunities arise and you notice new things. Instead of chasing the wrapper – you end up with the content.
The time is now. It was always now. There is only ever now. Ask yourself, what can I do today, right now, that makes me feel I am getting closer to how I want to feel. Then do that.
Love,
Birgitta
