Overcoming negative thinking

That we are what we think has been pretty universally proven by science over the last few years. If we think negative or destructive thoughts on a regular basis, for long enough, we tend to eventually develop disharmony in our lives or in our bodies. Our external circumstances literally mirror the internal dialogue we have with ourselves. This is both good and bad news. It’s GREAT if we feel good about ourselves, maintain healthy boundaries and expect to be treated with love, respect and understanding, when we know our own worth and anticipate good in life.

On the flip side, if we don’t think much of ourselves, and we have all dabbled in self-doubt one time or the other, we tend to attract what we expect, which is more negativity.  Maybe we don’t like our jobs, our relationships may be combative and dysfunctional, we may lose things or fall out with people around us and so on. So…..

Question:  Why do some of us sail through life while others don’t?

Answer:  It depends on the blueprint we have stored in our subconscious mind.

What we are doing, saying and feeling is constantly being recorded and stored in our subconscious mind. We tend to ruminate and do a self assessment of our contributions and if our programming, the blueprint, tells us we’re not good enough, the outcome can be brutal. We beat ourselves over the head if we do something wrong, say something we shouldn’t have, feel something we are told not to feel or we just compare ourselves to everyone – and never come out on top. This is where affirmations come in handy.

Affirmations, also known as positive declarations, is a method of feeding positive messages to your subconscious mind, replacing negative self-talk, us playing small, with the opposite.

Our subconscious mind is responsible for storing skills, habits, tendencies and our self-image. We may know that we are just as likely to have good things happen to us as anyone else, but in our subconscious we may have a blueprint (often developed in childhood) which believes we are losers, not as smart as other people and that we have to settle for good enough rather than aiming for that which we really want/need. So we don’t aim for an amazing relationship – we settle for ok. We don’t aim for the amazing career – we settle for boring but safe.

So how do affirmations work?

They are positive messages that you tell yourself, several times per day, when you catch your negative self-talk doing a number. First you become observant on what your belief system really is telling you and then you respond with the opposite to the negative thought. This takes practice and repetition. The mind wants to go back to the ‘normal’ way of thinking so you have to be persistent even if you don’t believe a word of what you are saying. The pay off? You will reprogram your mind and change your blueprint to something that serves you better. This is how to do it:

Example of negative self-talk:  I’m stuck in this job/relationship/situation and nothing I do will change it. I am a looser.

Positive affirmation 1:  ‘I’m powerful and I can change when I am ready to do so. I have a great new job which I love and I am highly appreciated.

Positive affirmation 2:I’m free to make decisions which supports my well-being and I am now in a relationship where I feel valued, loved and respected for the person that I am. I am very happy and life is wonderful’


  • make your affirmations positive and set in the present
  • your subconscious mind does not understand negative phrasing. Rather than saying ‘I don’t want to meet another unsuitable partner’ say ‘I now meet the perfect partner for me and I am very happy’ The subconscious mind is very literal and don’t know the difference between real and imagined so be clear.
  • it responds very well to visualisation so add a mental image to your affirmation and really see/feel what that would feel like to have/be the new you.
  • Repeat several times per day and keep going. Your negative self-talk had many years to take root, it will try to persist with the negativity so be clear what it is you want to replace it with and start a new life with loving and supportive self-talk as your constant companion.

The better we feel about ourselves, the better our lives turn out. Change is always an inside job and making sure you like and support yourself in the process is very important. Self-worth comes from listening to what makes you happy and not settling for that which makes your miserable. It takes strength and persistence to change a lifetime of thinking were not good enough. But it’s entirely possible to re-wire our brain and change the negative tape running through our heads on a daily basis. And when you re-wire and change your beliefs life can suddenly start to blossom.

Much love,

Birgitta xx



Leave a Reply