Self-care is SO much more than pampering and bubble baths.
Don’t get me wrong! I LOVE a bit of pampering as much as the next person but there are more ways to really take ‘care’ of yourself and build safety that caters to both your internal and external self – especially if you are in a relationship.
The practical aspects of being human don’t always interest us. We often allow other people to take on roles that we feel they are better suited for and, let’s face it, roles we find boring, right?
A great example is letting your partner take care of the finances. You may think you’re ‘no good’ at it and love that your partner takes that away from you. You may even be a bit intimidated by money because no one ever taught you what to do.
But the uncertainty and fear that can arise with a separation is no joke. And often it is due to a lack of knowledge of how to navigate and take practical responsibility for your new situation.
Or perhaps you are a people pleaser, stuffing your dreams and desires into your back pocket due to fear of what people will think of you. As you watch the years go by, you find more and more excuses for why something isn’t possible.
Here is the truth. Self-care often involves taking action to protect and nurture yourself whilst heading down a path that makes the most sense to you, with or without a partner. Without action, we stay stuck in a mindset, that is both familiar and safe.
Taking action may involve….
- new learning (finance, DIY, cooking, tennis etc)
- asking for advice (it can feel hard to admit you don’t know what to do)
- being open to change (deciding that staying put is no longer the route forward)
- stepping out of your comfort zone (all of the above)
- doing more of what calms you and less of what stresses you out. Peace of mind becomes the goal
In Sweden, we have a saying; ’Se om ditt hus’. It means make sure you’ve got all your bases covered first. I love that because we focus so much on the emotional texture of our relationships that we often ignore basic and practical steps that would leave us less vulnerable and exposed.
I often do a life inventory with my clients to see where they feel strong or where they feel vulnerable in their partnership. It says so much about where to focus attention in our work together. If this is something you’d like to have some help navigating, book a free Discovery call here. https://calendly.com/birgittahypnotherapy/discoverycall
What practical action could you take to feel more empowered in your life?
Birgitta ❤️